What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an octopus?
I can't tell, but it sure as hell can pick lettuce!
Written to someone in the UK
> In the USA, we celebrate Independence Day on July 4th. Do you have a > 'Dependence Day' celebration on July 3rd? If so, have a happy Dependence > Day.
To which someone responded
Actually, certain segments of our population do celebrate Dependence Day...but they stretch it out into a whole month....
It's called "Black History Month"
What do you call a Filipino contortionist?
A manilla folder.
What do you call two Filipino pilots?
A pair of pliers.
There was a rabbi who saved the foreskins from all the brisses(sp) he had done over the years and he took them to a guy who worked with leather, and asked him if he could make anything out of them. the guy looks at the bunch of foreskins, a whole bunch of them, and says, sure, I'll call you when it's ready. so a couple of weeks go by, and finally the rabbi gets a call from the leather worker. He gets to the guys shop, and the guy hands him a small wallet.
The rabbi is shocked. "I gave you a thousand foreskins, and this was all you could make out of them?"
The
leather worker says, "Yes, but when you rub it, it becomes a briefcase.
Q: Whats the difference between Jewish American princesses, and Mexican American princesses.
A: Mexican American princesses have fake jewlery and real orgasams!
Why are all Jewish men circumcised?
Because Jewish women insist on having EVERYTHING at least 10% off!
What do you get when you cross a black and a japanese?
I don't know either, but every Dec 7 it bombs Pearl Bailey.
What goes "clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop..BANG BANG BANG clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop" ?
An Amish drive by shooting
What do you call a black scuba diver?
Jacques Custodian