Why did Maria Schriver marry Arnold Schwartzenegger?
They're trying to breed a bullet-proof Kennedy.
A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money. When the postal authorities recieved the letter addressed to "GOD, USA", hey decided to send it to President Clinton. Bill was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill.
The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read;"Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through Washington, DC and, as usual, those sorry bastards deducted $95."
One day George Bush, Bill Clinton and Bob Packwood decide to visit the Wizard of OZ. After a long travel along the yellow brick road they arrive at the Wizards Palace.
When they meet the Wizard he tells them that they may each have one wish fulfilled. The Wizard asks George Bush what he would like, to which George responds "I would like to have a heart" and a heart is given to him. The Wizard asks Bill Clinton what he would like, to which Bill responds "I would like to have a brain" and a brain is given to him.
The Wizard then asks Bob Packwood what he would like, to which Bob responds "Uhmmmm is Dorothy anywhere around"........
Heard this on a C-SPAN panel discussion.
Pat Buchanan said that there is no room on his staff for Racists or White Supremacists.
Of course not. Those postions were filled months ago.