wistful death

august 1995

here sitting inside my head
the music slowly fades away
until all I see are your eyes
and the nakedness hiding them

the darkness of it all slowly
begins to overcome the light
and overtake my slowing heart
will anyone listen to my plight

i can suffer through the pain
but its been so long since
i felt free from its grasp
that its become my companion

it's made me numb on the inside
on the outside i've turned cold
and the feelings all in between
got lost on their way to limbo

every day brings a new struggle
a battle won, a never-ending war
lost. the soldiers are beaten,
worn and long for their homes

every man has his castle, but
mine crumbled while i was absent
its caretakers left, never again
to return. they thought he died

i have paid my dues. there is
blood only to live, tears only
to weep and food only to scrape
off the floor of those gluttons

hourly, i pray to the demons
to possess me in my insomnia
so that i may not feel anymore
of the pain that i bore for her love.

d. e. storey